Help! My ex won’t list me as a contact at my child’s school, or pediatrician! My ex won’t give me copies of our child’s report card, soccer schedule, medical insurance card, etc. …

This is a complaint that family law attorneys hear often, regardless of whether parents live across the street from each other or across the country.  In Ohio, unless a court finds it is not in the child’s best interest for reasons such as domestic violence, both the residential and non-residential parent are entitled to school, medical and day care records access.  This means you have the RIGHT to receive those documents. 

The real problem comes in when people rely on their ex to deliver the documents and facilitate that access!  Unless your ex is specifically court ordered to list you as an emergency contact, it is not their job to list you as a parent with the school, it’s yours.  Unless your ex is specifically court ordered to give you a copy of your child’s report card, then it is not their job to get a copy to you, it is your job to arrange to get a copy.  Let’s be honest, if your ex is not listing you as an emergency contact at your child’s school, and is not giving you copies of the report cards – it’s a power struggle.  They are getting a charge out of keeping that information from you.  So the next logical questions are:

• Are your arms broken? 
• Do you have access to a telephone? 
• Can you call your child’s school? 
• Can you mail a copy of your court order to your child’s school and ask that it be placed in your child’s file? 
• Have you ever read your court order – or are you relying on your ex, friend, family or neighbor to tell you what the law is? 
• If your child’s school will only mail the report cards to one parent, show them the court order that tells them you are entitled to access to your child’s records and give them postage pre-paid envelopes so that they can mail you additional copies of your child’s records and notices.  Are you willing to do this?
• If your child’s school places report cards online, and your ex keeps changing the password – Why don’t you go to the school to obtain a copy – it’s cheaper than hiring a lawyer. 
• Have you made any effort to get the child’s soccer schedule from the soccer coach directly?  Perhaps if you gave the coach your e-mail or mailing address, you would receive all notices in a timely fashion. 

The bottom line is many people are so focused in the playing the game that their ex has started, they go YEARS without having information about their child that they are entitled to.  Don’t be a victim, and don’t waste your energy trying to make your ex do the right thing.  Your ex is probably enjoying this little game immensely and you are helping them!  So pick up the phone, your mouse or your car keys and fix the problem!  A judge is going to ask you why you didn’t pick up the phone, the mouse or the car keys before you hired a lawyer and requested a trial – “Because I shouldn’t have to.” is not going to impress the judge.  He or she is going to expect you to engage in a little self-help in this matter before going to court.

The information provided in this web site is applicable in the state of
Ohio and is provided as a public service. While Virginia Cornwell is a Columbus Ohio Divorce Lawyer, Columbus Ohio Custody Attorney, and an Ohio Grandparents Rights Attorney, and an Ohio Child Custody Jurisdiction Attorney, viewing the information in this web site does not constitute an attorney-client communication, and acting upon information obtained from this web site does not create an attorney-client relationship. If you would like to discuss the application of the law to your fact situation, or if you would like additional information, please call the Law Offices of Virginia C. Cornwell at 614-225-9316 to schedule a  consultation

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